It's been almost 10 years since we planted our church and these days we are busy planning a big Church Anniversary party. I meant to write handwritten invitations to everyone who has been in our church for more than a couple of months during the 10 years, but I realize I just won't have the time now that our holidays are coming up and we are going abroad. So I am just going to hand-write invitations to the about 10 people that I can't find on Facebook, and on Facebook I have invited over 100 people who have passed through our church during the years. People that I have walked with and talked with and considered my friends to such an extent that it was painful when they left and took new directions. I had wanted to start a church where nobody ever got mad at each other, where conflicts were dealt with in love and turned into family bliss in no time. I am afraid I did not quite succeed. I have failed some people over the years, not been there for them to the extent that they felt I should have. The other day, at a church function, I was giving one couple a ride home and while trying to help them out I accidentally backed into someone else from the church. It was not that that I had not noticed the brand new Audi, all the guys had been out oohing and aahing over it, the owner just got it a couple of days before. But at that fatal moment of backing out I forgot about it and gave it a dent. I always wanted to leave an imprint as a leader, but not that kind of an imprint!
This was one of the new leaders in our church and someone that I did not know very well, so I had knots in my stomach when I went to fess up. Fortunately he was very gracious about it and even brought me vegetables from their greenhouse the next time we met, just to make sure I did not feel too bad. I ate the tomatoes that this couple gave me with a thankful heart. Thankful that they chose to give me tomatoes rather than throw them at me. And a week later the dent was fixed and I transferred the money, a much smaller amount than I had feared.
Looking back, I sure wish all church conflicts could be solved that easily. The love of God is so generous and graceful. But unfortunately we humans are not always quite like our Father, and sometimes we weave tangled webs that strangle and trip each other. I thought about that as I added each Facebook friend to my invitation, wondering if I could have walked an extra mile, said an extra comforting word, turned another cheek. Would it have made a difference, would they have stayed and still be walking with us?
These are treacherous times, times of comings and goings, times of brief interludes rather than lasting relationships. I have to take my shortcomings, my failings and self-doubts to the cross and just bless the people that have walked with me for a while and then chosen other directions. I am so glad that Jesus taught us to pray for the forgiveness of our trespasses and to forgive those who trespass against us. We have to let these things go and not hang on to grudges and grievances, otherwise our hands will cramp up and eventually become unable to give and receive. Jesus promised to build His church and that the gates of hell would not prevail against it. And thanks to God, in spite of our frail beginnings, we now have a strong and healthy church under the great leadership of our new Pastor Hasse. God built His church and the gates of hell have not prevailed. Many have found faith and friendship in our midst, and even if they have since moved on I hope that they have tasted a bit of God's goodness while they have been part of us. Life happens and takes us in different directions. But I am looking forward to celebrating on November 4th, celebrating life, celebrating God's greatness in the midst of our shortcomings, His faithfulness in the midst of our failings. Seeing old friends, rejoicing together, hugging people that have forgiven me for my shortcomings.
Some pastors say that the more they know people the more they like their dog. In my list of friends on line on Facebook there is always a line that I did not put there. Apparently Facebook has made a distinction between my friends that are "above the line" and the ones that are "under the line". I have no idea how the distinction is made, I certainly did not make it. And I pray that my life will be a life without rash judgments, without strange lines dividing people into ins and outs. That my heart would always be open to meet people freely and openly. The bread of life tastes so good and I have been given it so freely, so I am going to keep casting my bread upon the water. And we are all going to break bread together on November 4th, celebrating life and rejoicing in God's faithfulness
